signal to the engineer (m)

what leaks
over which
cables sleep
with fishes
under litres
of coca-cola

weight

the carpet is
a puke resistant floral patchwork
my face against the wall
five fingers pushing flesh to brick
each breath a gasp
two fifty clutched in a fist

an illusive lepidoptery

wish you were anything
more than here
again
sweating sentiment through mountains of affect
of acne and damp
loneliness and black dog,
of bereft, turned to some imagined you,
gold at sundown sparkly like
light itself, warmth
buried like a lifetime of Hiroshimas
generations of Kashmir, dry powdered,
potential apocalypse
wanted,
just not enough